Discharged From The Pain Clinic

I was discharged from the pain clinic today. After explaining how my pain has eased a little on Gabapentin, I am still struggling to cope with the pain. Which is also causing me to feel horribly anxious constantly.

The Dr prescribed Tramadol instead of Codipar and decided that there’s not much more the Pain Clinic can do for me after he went through the options we had tried. Physiotherapy, Steroid injections, Ten’s machine and the Gabapentin. He decided instead I should have Pain management sessions under the psychology department.

Pain clinic
These sessions are supposed to help teach me about pain, how to pace myself (we all know that’s a huge issue for me!) and cope better all round. These will be group sessions which I am anxious about.. especially as I mostly see elderly people at the pain clinic. They love to point me out and stare.. I hope there’s a few younger people there!

I’m hoping the wait isn’t too long for pain management and CBT. Fingers crossed Tramadol helps improve things as I haven’t been coping well recently. I can’t stop worrying I haven’t done enough or I have too much to do. I constantly feel stressed and struggling to interact even more than normal. Even posting has been an issue, I write then delete. Or I write and it just sits there because I feel my posts are pointless.

I am determined not to let this beat me. Going to sessions around everything else is going to be stressful but hopefully worth it in the long run. I have some awesome people who listen to my grumbling and give me encouragement too.

Have you tried pain management courses? Or CBT? I’d love to know how other’s have got on.

My Medication Review

My medication review was this morning. Knowing I have pain clinic next week I decided I really needed to focus more in my mental health. My anxiety has been through the roof lately and I’ve struggled to brain.. a lot!

I was completely honest about how I’ve been feeling and I was basically given 2 options.

1. Be referred to a psychiatrist so I can be put in stronger medication as I’m already on such a low dose. (Something I’d prefer to avoid if possible)

2. Refer myself to the therapy centre above the surgery.

I decided to go upstairs and refer myself for therapy. I recieved a call later in the afternoon going over how I feel, my symptoms and my mental health history. Once I had finished the questionnaire the lady suggested referring me for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).

I panicked but decided I need to do something because I hate struggling so much. I hate feeling like I can’t do anything right and I’m useless. I hate not being able to go out without panicking. I hate being invited somewhere and feeling like its just out of politeness. I want to enjoy things & believe in myself a little bit more. I know it may not help fully but if it can calm me down even slightly I might not be such an anti-social stresshead!

I spoke to my brother about it this evening and he told me he went through a CBT course and mentioned it made him feel patronised at first but after a few sessions it did help change his way of thinking. I’m hoping it can help me too and I’m also glad for the heads up as I think I might have struggled to continue if the first few sessions don’t seem to help.

I now have to wait for a call when an appointment is free to start the CBT. I’ve no idea how long that will be but I’m hoping it’s not too long.

As I said I have pain clinic on Tuesday too. Whilst the Gabapentin has helped massively I am still struggling. I’m still feeling those electric bolts through my legs, pain in my hips & back. Now it’s getting much colder my ribs hurt too so I need to bring all of this up and see if they can suggest anything that may help.

I’m quite exhausted after today but I’m glad in between all of it I still managed to join the Mr & Izzy at the pub. Our favourite pub is always quiet & we know the regulars. Sometimes I do mire than smile politely and say hi too. Today wasn’t one of those days but it was nice to be acknowledged and left alone to enjoy being outside of these walls.

I now want to hide away for a few days though. It’s been a very hectic, peopley, emotional day with too many phone calls & talking to ‘important people’. I’ve gone over a lot of my past in a 20 minute phone call which has left my head hurting a bit aswell as admitting my crazy is getting too crazy.

I decided to write and publish this before I decide it isn’t worth it as I usually do but now¬†I’m off to curl up and feel sorry for myself because I hurt all over and feel so cold!

Have you tried CBT? Did it help at all? I’m honestly quite nervous about it all and would love some feedback!

I Just Can’t Brain Some Days

Do you ever have those ‘I can’t brain today’ days? I do quite regularly and it can be very stressful.

My mind wanders.. I’ve no idea where it wander’s to at times but I just can’t focus and feel useless. I find myself just staring blankly at things. Sometimes the smallest of things causes it, other times I just wake up like it.

I struggle to word, I struggle to write,¬†I struggle to adult, I just can’t brain at all. I’m aware of what’s going on around me but struggle to interact. I’ll be scrolling through twitter but have absolutely no idea what to say or if it’s ‘ok’ to comment on something.

It’s frustrating and I get annoyed with myself but I just have to let it pass and try to ride it out. My chest hurts and I have awful dizzy spells. I struggle to interact with people and probably come across a bit moody at¬†times because of it. Some days I just can’t brain and figure out what to say or do. I stress about having to do anything.

The last month or so has been full of ups and downs for me, as I’m sure it has for many others so I’ve been struggling to brain a little more than normal. Forgetting to go to my medication review and¬†running out of tablets for a day or 2¬†knocked me a bit but luckily I braved a phone call to my GP surgery. I was¬†quite distressed¬†on the phone to my GP surgery where I had missed an¬†appointment but¬†the receptionist could obviously tell. An emergency prescription was arranged to be collected from the chemist around 11am which the Mr got for me. I was also booked in for my medication review which is tomorrow!

Even though I managed the call and everything turned out ok, my chest still hurt when I put the phone down. I still had to try and breathe slowly to try and keep myself calm and stop everything going fuzzy. I hate feeling like this and not being able to stop it.

I’m jumping at everything, something falling, loud noises, something moving near me unexpectedly. I feel stressed at the slightest of things, a mess, something I’ve forgotten, feeling lazy when I’m in so much pain I neglect the few things I need to get done around the flat. The worst part is knowing it is all so irrational. I get so frustrated with myself for it which just makes things even worse and¬†I just can’t brain some days!

Do you struggle to brain some days too? How to you manage it?


I can't brain today




Getting To Know My Microsoft Surface Pro 3

I’ve been getting to know my Microsoft Surface Pro 3 that the Mr got me for Christmas. Microsoft call it the tablet that can replace your laptop.. and they were right!

Surface Pro 3

I have the Microsoft Surface Pro 3 Intel Core i5 on Windows 10 with 128GB memory & 4GBRAM in silver with a 12″ display. It’s amazingly light compared to my old chunky Dell D620 laptop!

Having stuck to Windows 7 for a while it took me a day or so to get to grips with the system and how it works, and most importantly where everything is! Once I got the hang of it, it was pretty simple & I actually quite like the Menu’s, something I thought I might not be keen on having seen my friend use his when he got it.

It has a lovely clear 12″ screen which at first I thought I might struggle with but in all honesty¬†it¬†feels like the perfect size!

Mr of course has to purple my present in some way so he also got me the Purple keyboard to go with it! Now it is so much easier for me to write my blog posts again (you may have noticed I’ve posted a lot more since Christmas!).

My old laptop took years to load and if I was lucky if I could maybe edit one post in an entire weekend so had to rely on my phone & using th3e Mr’s PC when he wasn’t around. Now I can get a post written in no time. I love that the Surface Pro 3 has a stand as it’s handy whether in Tablet mode or as a Laptop/PC with the keyboard attached. I can literally write from anywhere now. I love curling up in my corner and having the whole set up laid flat across my legs so I can type with the keyboard still.

The Surface Pen took a little getting used to, being left handed I had to change the settings to left handed and have found it much easier.. except for when I decided to write with my right.. being ambidextrous isn’t always that ‘handy’ haha! I’ve now worked out the buttons on it and love how quick and easy it is to select and copy/paste text. I’d be a little lost without my pen now & have tried to use it on my phone several times too.. It doesn’t work if you were wondering ūüėČ

I love how it is benefiting the Mr too! Anyone that follows me on Twitter has probably seen a rant or 2 about the Mr’s phone. It struggles to receive ANY signal or Wi-Fi anywhere yet when we are in the kitchen he can connect to Wi-Fi using my Surface Pro 3 as¬† hotspot which unlike my laptop shares my Wi-Fi connection! Hopefully within a few months there will be no need for this and we will have replaced the Mr’s phone but it is very handy!

I haven’t yet had a play with Cortana but I have heard it is a amazing.. I’ll do another post when I get round to it. I think I’ll feel a tad silly talking to Cortana at first though!

The Surface Pro 3 also has¬†a front and back 5mp camera with video recording capabilities in 1080p. We tested this out Christmas day Face Timing¬†my friend Slim¬†who is currently in Guyana. Although I hid the whole time as I’m not keen on voice/video calls I did keep an eye on how well the camera worked and it was surprisingly good for a video call! The Camera’s also have a privacy light each so you know when the Camera’s are active.

Sound wise it’s not the loudest but to be honest I usually put music on the Mr’s PC and play it through our sound system. The speakers do have Dolby enhanced sound which I have to admit whilst not particularly loud it is very clean and clear to listen to.

Browsing the web and swapping between applications is ridiculously quick (especially if your using a pre-historic laptop!). Everything runs smoothly and quickly with very little lag even when I have everything in the world open! This was my main issue with the laptop and the Surface Pro 3 has seriously blown me away with it’s capabilities.

There are also several ports including USB 3.0, Mini DisplayPort and micro SD card reader which is extremely useful as well as a headphone jack.

I love the fact I can download games from the App store too and also play Xbox games!! I am soo getting wireless controllers haha! I’ve already installed my favourite word game and tried a few out and the display is awesome! I played a racing game thinking there was no way moving the Surface Pro 3e around would work as well as on my phone. Well I was wrong! It is so much better than my phone! It responds so well I even came first in a race I tend to lose on my phone.

There are sooo many features on the Surface Pro 3 that I think I will carry on checking them out and write another post once I’ve really had a play!

So far though the Surface Pro 3 is a definite win and the Mr has had a ton of praise for it! I would definitely recommend it to bloggers who like to write on the go as well as at home.



Survey Sites That Pay 2017

Here’s an updated list of Survey sites that pay.

I have been using survey sites for years to help us out with birthday’s and Christmas presents and my last post about it Survey Sites, Do They Really Pay? went down really well so I thought it was time to do an update! I’ve been a bit lazy with the surveys this year but I’m still keeping up with the best ones so check these out for a little extra. Surveys are a great way of sharing your thoughts on a range of topics & products.

My top 10 for 2017

  1. Valued Opinions – It’s the survey site that got me hooked. It’s easy to earn a ¬£10 voucher at least 4/5 times a year. With a range of vouchers including Amazon¬† and Argos this site has helped me through plenty of gift buying! I didn’t mention this site last time as it had been quiet for a while but I get at least one email a day again now!
  2. I-Say РThis site regularly has surveys and if kept on top of you can easily earn the 690 (£5 amazon) or 1380 points (£10) every 2-3months. This site pays out via vouchers such as Compliments, Amazon, John Lewis & recently added £10 Virtual Prepaid MasterCard for 1200 points! Amazon vouchers are received via email & paper vouchers are posted out. This site gives from 5-25 points even if you don’t qualify for a survey. Takes up-to 4 weeks to receive vouchers.
  3. SurveyBods – I only discovered this one in the last year and it pays out at 1500 points/¬£15. You can either redeem your points for an Amazon voucher or the money can be paid straight into your bank account. Amazon voucher’s¬†can take up to 5 days to be emailed to you.¬†Bank payments generally take between 2-3 weeks.
  4. YourSayPays ‚Äď Another good site to check daily! This site is the simplest one out of them all. You are paid anywhere from 5p per survey and can redeem once you reach ¬£20 via PayPal or Amazon vouchers. I rarely receive emails from this site but log¬†when I remember and¬†usually have at least 1/2 surveys a day to fill out. I average a ¬£20 pay out every 6 months. Up to 30 days to receive pay outs.
  5. Mintvine – This site can build up pretty quick if you check the site regularly across the day. You can also earn 5 points per day on the daily poll. You can easily cash out $10/1000 points via PayPal every 2-3 months.[ They also offer a range of e-vouchers for places like Amazon, Debenhams, House of Fraser & more! It takes 3-5 business days to receive your payment.
  6. YouGov РThis site is always sending out emails, I currently earn the £50 about once a year. If you were to check regularly you could probably get 2 pay outs a year. They pay out straight into your bank account. 50,000 points are needed and you can earn from 25 points upwards per survey.
  7. OnePoll – Another high pay out threshold but with so many surveys it’s easy enough to earn ¬£40 every 4/5 months. Payment is made via BACS into your bank account. This takes 28 days to process but worth the wait! Earn from 10p upwards per survey.
  8. Swagbucks – I’ve been using Swagbucks since about 2012 but stopped for a while as it was quite quiet. It does seem to have picked up pace and become a favourite again and I’ve started popping by to earn a few SB here and there. With so many ways to earn and pay out options it’s a great site to earn from regularly! You can get a ¬£5 PayPal payment for just 800SB!
  9. Maximiles РThis site is similar to Swagbucks paying out in thousands of ways with products and  gift cards. I just ordered myself a Bitmore Juucee Portable Battery Backup Charger for 2,100 points! Products arrive via post within 10 working days. Minimum redemption level is 2000 points which is so easy to collect. I earned my points for the portable charger just through clicking the emails in 2/3 months.
  10. GlobalTestMarket РThis site always has surveys available I still get through on very few yet still manage to get a pay-out once every 3-4 months. This site is great however the minimum requirement to redeem your points is 1000. This site pays out in a huge variety of ways including PayPal, Amazon, Nectar, ITunes, Boots, and more! I tend to go for PayPal (544 points x 2 to redeem = £30!). Physical merchandise and paper vouchers will generally be delivered to winners’ doors within 4-6 weeks from order date, unless otherwise specified in the Rewards Zone. Truck-shipped and speciality items are generally delivered within 6-8 weeks from order date, unless otherwise specified in the Rewards Zone.


Do you use survey sites already? Do you know of any others that pay out regularly too? Remember Answering questions honestly and to the best of your ability enables you to access more surveys more regularly.

Our Day Out On Vintage Buses

We had a fun day out on vintage buses last month run by Ensign bus as a Christmas special! The Mr had seen the day advertised online & decided we should head to lakeside for lunch on a vintage bus. I had absolutely no idea Ensignbus had s vintage fleet! Or a blog.. Which is pretty interesting if your a bit of a vintage lover too!

We were all quite excited when our bus to lakeside pulled up. The girls were surprised to get on at the back and how different it looked compared to the buses we usually use.


Eva was impressed¬†when the conductor came and sold us our tickets once we had sat down. He gave her the Ensign Christmas Special brochure along with our bus tickets. She loved watching how the tickets were printed on the old ticket machines. We took a good look around the bus we took to lakeside and pointed out things we don’t see on new buses.






I loved the vintage seats and wooden flooring through both decks of the bus. I only just remember riding buses like these as a child so it was really cool to ride on one over 20 years later! We all quite enjoyed ourselves and it was lovely to see the girls so fascinated and interested in the different buses.


We decided to head for lunch and Eva came across the Play Mobil display around the Christmas tree in the centre of lakeside and had to get a quick picture with a knight and shook his hand!

Dat out on vintage buses

After lunch we headed back to the bus station to find we had a short wait for our bus home. That was fine by us, it meant we had a bit of time to look at some of the other vintage buses. I quite liked this bus and was lucky to get a good few different shots of it as it wasn’t in running condition at the time and had been towed to lakeside for static viewing.




My absolute favourite picture of the whole day was an edited shot of the X55 to Gravesend. Using colour splash I ended up with this lovely picture I shared on my Instagram account.



#vintagebus #ensignbuschristmasspecial #ensignbus #X55 #vyj808 #redbus #vintage #buses #vintagebuses

A photo posted by Ember (@relentlesslypurple) on



Before our bus home arrived this huge Americruiser thing pulled up. As it was a class 5 it offered free tours around the¬†area which the Mr and the girl’s discovered so we¬†climbed aboard for a quick ride.

Izzy especially loved this one, she loves the¬†buses and the bigger the¬†better. She ‘drove’ us to the pub for most of the way with her eyes fixed on the road causing us to giggle our heads off.

Izzy 'driving' the bus to the pub ūüôąūüėāūüėāūüėāūüėā

A video posted by Ember (@relentlesslypurple) on

We returned back to Lakeside bus station and finally jumped on a vintage bus home. I didn’t get a chance to take a picture of our last bus home but I did get these few shots of the inside.

We saw¬†a lot more¬†buses and I took ton’s of photo’s but these ones are definitely my favourites. I love looking at and learning about vintage¬†vehicles¬†which some of you may have noticed from Instagram. The Mr and I both enjoy taking photo’s of anything old and a bit different. We play bit of a game trying to get shots of vintage cars we see around and we both took plenty of the buses! Overall it was an interesting and fun day seeing all the different buses even though it was freezing.

Do you love vintage buses or vehicles in general ? Or have an interest in anything vintage?

Back To Normality After Christmas

After a hectic few week’s thing’s are finally getting back to normality after Christmas. I’ve been much quieter than planned on the blog so thought I’d write a quick catch up post. We had a brilliant one this year and were on top of the girl’s presents thanks to starting early and picking up a few bargains along the way.

The lead up


The lead up to Christmas was very busy especially with the Mr painting characters on the walls for the girls including Olaf (don’t mention the body ūüėČ) , Gingerbread man¬† and an elf! The girls absolutely loved them and I personally don’t want the gingerbread man to go!


There was plenty of last minute buying and panicking about the Mr’s present which luckily a very good friend (you know who you are!) helped me out with. So the Mr at least had a few beers to go along with a top I bought him instead of nothing.. good job really since he got me a Microsoft Surface 3!!!! Admittedly I still feel guilty & going to order him another box of beers for him next payday from Beer52, as I said I would for Christmas but ran out of time!

Santa visit

We visited Santa with Alex (my brother) on Christmas eve again this year. Carrying on the tradition we started last year. Although I forgot to pre-book so we had almost a 2 hour wait it wasn’t too bad. We chatted inline with a mum and her son Oscar after we watched him so she could grab McDonald’s for them to eat whilst they waited. They helped keep the girls chatting to stop the boredom. We also¬†took pictures with the big bears that came round to entertain those queueing. The girls and Alex also ended up with a HUGE stash of candy canes as they all had to go and Izzy was being cheeky and cute haha!

Christmas Morning


Christmas morning we had a 30 min wait for my brother to arrive.¬†Well¬†once the girls were eventually awake the Mr and I were up rather early so it wasn’t too bad! The girls couldn’t wait to see their Uncle Alex and make sure he joined in. They all opened their stockings then took a quick break to eat some more chocolate before moving onto bigger presents. They were all over the moon with their gifts which was lovely to see. My¬†jaw was on the floor though when I realised my blogging life was about to become a whole lot easier. Thanks to the Mr buying me a Microsoft surface pro 3!¬†

Normality after Christmas

We had a delicious Christmas Dinner cooked by the Mr¬†with all the usual yummy stuff!¬†We all ended up in a food coma and wanting bed quite soon after! My brother spent most of the day saying how happy he was and how the day had given him a sense of normality and family life. It was brilliant spending the day with him and spoiling him along with the girls. He joined us again to see in the New Year and again couldn’t stop saying how happy he was. It’s really hit him how well he has done over the last year. He’s turned his life around with a little bit of help and knowing he does have family who really do love & care about him.

Coming to an end

So all in all it’s been a fabulous time but as always very tiring with all the running around & cleaning. As the holidays came to an end Izzy was quite ill and had a few sofa days. Eva began to misbehave quite a bit over the last few days which has made me feel quite low. Luckily she is back to school today and normality has returned.. fingers crossed so does her good behaviour!

How was your Christmas? Are you relieved to get back to routine or wishing it was Christmas every day?

Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2017

It’s time to look at¬†the things I’m looking forward to in 2017 having looked back on 2016 and what I had looked forward to for 2016! I don’t do new year¬†resolutions, diets, quitting things etc..¬†but I¬†hope to achieve at least half of the list below


1. Continuing to grow the blog – I’ve learnt a lot over the last year and got chatting to some absolutely awesome bloggers! It’s lovely to see so many bloggers willing to help each other and I hope I can help other bloggers too as I grow. I’ve put a lot more time into the blog this year and plan to put even more time & effort in over the coming year. Plus with the Microsoft surface pro 3 the Mr¬†got me things have become even easier!


2. Attend a blogging event! – I know.. Even with my anxiety I want to attend an event even just a small one & meet a few bloggers even though the idea of actually getting ready and going terrifies me! ūüôąūüėā After meeting Martyn¬†I really want to meet other bloggers especially Tracey (my online mummy ūüėČ) amongst others!


3. Organizing a Mad Hatters Tea Party for Eva’s 7th birthday! Having seems Alice in wonderland this year Eva wants a crazy tea party sooo much and I’m determined to do that since last year wasn’t as great as planned! If you have any tips let me know!


4¬†Help my brother find a job. It’s something he’s been wanting for a while, he’s worked before & was a supervisor in a pottery factory for quite some time so he is more than capable we just need to write him up a good CV and build his confidence a little more.

5.¬†Continue learning to crochet! I’m slowly getting the hang of new stitches and tend to make up most of my patterns as I go ūüôą but it works and gives me some time to myself & a cool way to come up with gifts!

6.¬†Do a lot more with the girls,they’ve missed out on a lot due to financial restrictions and my health & mental health getting in the way. I want them to get out more and have lots of fun!

7.¬†Have at least one night out with the Mr child-free. It’s an extremely rare occurrance so I’m determined to get out for an evening and have a meal and a drink alone. Aswell as the Thurrock beer festival of course! ūüėČ

8.Watch more films with the girls! We are slowly working on this as I’ve not seen a lot of the well known kids films myself haha!


Wht are you looking forward to in 2017? Do you have any goals or resolutions set?