Struggling To Love My Body

Physical and Mental Health / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’m struggling to love my body. I have struggled massively with my body image over the years & been extremely unkind to it in the past but I am now slowly learning to love my body a little more.

I fell into bad habits & neglected my body & barely ate for years thinking I had to be smaller & slimmer, the Mr found ways to help me eat again and now I can even eat in public when I’m feeling good. Weight and size is now the least of my problems..

Finding out I have peripheral neuropathy has made sense of a lot of things for me recently. Although I still get frustrated with certain things, I know now what’s causing it so I don’t feel quite as ridiculous. BUT there’s one thing that has been increasingly bugging me.

 My scoliosis.Scoliosis

Most people wouldn’t notice my Scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and it was completely missed for years. I don’t know how my back looks as it’s something I tend to avoid but my left rib cage sticks out.. A fair bit. My spine curves & twists to the left. Add in my tilted pelvis and well and I do look odd..especially if you look closely.

 

I always thought a jelly belly, c-section scar & stretch marks would bother me but these days not so much, I’ve learnt to accept that the Jelly belly & stretch marks are a part of me & my scar is so faded I barely notice it these days and see all these things are a reminder I carried my babies and brought them into this world.

I struggle with my rib cage sticking out though.. It always seems so noticeable in a tight top so I’ve started wearing looser tops again. I feel like I look very wonky. Wearing a bra HURTS after a little while as it digs in to my sticky out rib. It feels like it’s slowly getting worse so I guess it’s something I need to learn to accept. Hopefully I can just as I have accepted my jelly belly, scar and stretch marks.

Do you have scoliosis?

Does anyone else have Scoliosis and struggle with their curves? I know compared to many my curves aren’t that bad but it still bothers me at times, especially when getting dressed to go out. Nothing looks right, necklines look wonky.. It’s frustrating at times.

I’ve struggled majorly this past year to keep any weight on, I keep bouncing back down to 6 1/2 stone when I should be at least 7-8 stone and this makes my rib cage stick out and hurt even more. I’m trying my best to gain (I’m sure anyone that follows me on Instagram will know I munch a lot haha) but it has been tough and at best I’ve managed to get to 7 stone 4 and I’m currently 7 stone exactly.

I’m hoping perhaps with a little more weight the curve wont be quite as obvious and painful.. Anyone know if this would actually help? There is very little info out there on Scoliosis (anything I have found is American) and Dr’s don’t seem to know as much about it in the UK.

Do you struggle with your body image? What bug’s you the most?

A Replacement Backpack for the Mr

Product Reviews / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I promised to review the replacement backpack we got the Mr for his birthday and as it’s been a few months. (Oops!) I figured I should probably get on to it!

Searching for a replacement backpack

We spent so long on our desperate backpack search but as I mentioned previously we finally gave in and accepted it wasn’t possible to find an identical copy of the Mr’s old Surfanic backpack. We decided to have a look around and see what else was out there.

It had to be big enough and sturdy enough to carry heavy shopping like bottles of coke, milk, juice. It’s more to satisfy the Mr’s needs as he prefers to carry most of the weight on his back (I generally can’t pick his backpack up when its full as it’s so heavy!) so we really had a challenge finding one a decent size that didn’t cost the earth.

Ordering a replacement backpack

After looking around for some time the Mr finally decided on an Under Armour backpack being sold on Ebay for £26.99 which arrived within days.

 

Replacement backpack - Under Armour

 

Izzy was quick to help get it unpacked check it out when it arrived. She seemed fairly impressed. The Mr eventually got round to using it a few day’s later and has since retired his surfanic bag.

There are 2 large compartments and a rather large bottom zip pocket along with 2 mesh drink bottle pockets & a smaller zip up pocket at the top of the bag.

We hadn’t realised when ordering that the bottom zip pocket is a long square that reaches to the back of the bag. This is something we have never seen before and it is pretty cool! The Mr has used it daily for the last few month’s and hasn’t had any problem’s. He finds it pretty comfortable on his shoulders which is great for heavy loads. He the handy little pockets for things like his keys, sunglasses, phone etc.

The Mr is surprisingly still happy with his replacement. Although it does carry less than his last bag as it still carries what we need.

 

 

#MamiasDaysOut

Days Out and Events / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

When I saw the opportunity for the #MamiasDaysOut on the @britmums website I signed up and crossed my fingers. I was pleasantly surprised when this amazing hamper showed up a few days later.  I am a great fan of Aldi Mamia products having tried a lot of different products with both my girls. Aldi Mamia has proven to be the best for us time and time again. Good quality and value and 100% organic, what’s not to love?

Our Hamper contained:

  • Mamia Juniors Apple Mini Rice Cakes 7months+
  • Mamia Juniors Raspberry Mini Rice Cakes 7months+
  • Mamia Organic Apple & Blackcurrent Juice 4months+
  • Mamia 4 pack of Apple & pear fruit pots 4months+
  • Mamia Organic Banana’s & Apples Squeezy Pouch 4months+
  • Mamia Organic Apple & Strawberry Squeezy Pouch 4months+
  • Mamia Organic Mango, Apple & Banana Squeezy Pouch 4months+
  • Mamia Organic Apples, Carrots & Parsnips Squeezy Pouch 4months+
  • Mamia Organic Apple, Sweet Potatoe, Butternut Squash & Blueberry 4months+
  • £5 Aldi Voucher to spend on Mamia Nappies & wipes.

We have used Aldi a lot more since Izzy was born, it’s only a 10 minute walk from ours. I love the quality of their nappies and they are such brilliant value! I love that I can get 2 packs of size 6 Mamia nappies and a 4pack of wipes for less than £10. I was spending double that with Eva just on nappies alone!

I decided to spend the £5 voucher on the Mamia easy-pants as Izzy is showing an interest in using the potty and toilet recently. At only £1.85 for a pack of 16 you really cant go wrong! Izzy absolutely loves them and finds them much easier to pull up and down than other brands we have tried.

I also bought my usual 4 pack of Mamia sensitive fragrance free baby wipes as the girls & I have quite sensitive skin and suffer Eczema. These wipes are so soft and gentle on your skin and for 59p per pack or 2.39 for 4 packs you just cant beat them.

Trying something new

We decided to give the Mamia Fabric Softener a try as we hadn’t noticed it before & for a 40 wash bottle at 99p it beats the current deals we’ve been picking up elsewhere!

We gave it a go and I am pretty impressed as it’s left our towels lovely and soft & all the girls clothes are coming out softer too and we haven’t had a problem with skin irritation which limits what we can use quite a bit! I think it’s safe to say we will be sticking with the fabric softener too!

When I recieved our hamper Izzy spotted the rice cakes which are one of the few products from their Mamia food range that she hasn’t tried yet. She sneakily grabbed the pack of Apple Mini Rice Cakes and got munching. She did share them with Eva too who said they were delicious.

Izzy has loved the Mamia Apple and Pear pot’s since she was around 4/5 months old. I haven’t bought them in a while, yet Izzy couldn’t wait to get stuck in again and demanded a pot when she saw them in the cupboard a few days later.

How pleased does she look to have gotten her own way!?

Although I haven’t managed to snap any pictures as I haven’t gone with them, Izzy has been demolishing the Mamia Puree pouches whilst whizzing about town on her trike with daddy! She still loves all the different flavours but Apple & Banana is still her favourite and lasts about 5 seconds flat!

Our #Mamiasdaysout

I decided to brave baby rhyme time at Grays Library so Izzy could get out & do something fun and spend time with little ones around her own age. She decided afterwards to head upstairs to the Thurrock Museum

She absolutely loved it all but after all the excitement she was very hungry & made me stop halfway home for a snack.
Luckily I had taken the Mamia raspberry rice cakes and organic juice with us so Izzy sat on a bench & had a quick munch & a juice when she eventually let go of the bottle!

She wasn’t too impressed with the wind & really didn’t want to let go of the bottle!

We absolutely love the Aldi Mamia range and would definitely recommend it to anyone with a little one. Whether it’s the nappies, wipes, food or juices it is well worth a try. They have so many healthy food options & are so handy on the go!
Mamia makes parenting that little bit easier and cheaper too!

This post is an entry for BritMums #MamiaDaysOut Linky Challenge, sponsored by Aldi Mamia. 

 

Christmas Bargains & Lies

Bargains / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

Ugh Christmas bargains.. I love them.. OK.. I admit it.. I’m a liar. I said NO TOYS this Christmas after getting halfway through writing a post on why I’m not buying toys this christmas.. and what did I do? That’s right I acted like a child myself when the Mr spotted this Wilko Wooden Pirate Ship reduced from £15 to £5!!!!! Well now..

Christmas Bargains - Wilko Pirate Ship

At that price and being the last one on the shelf, I couldn’t resist. I can’t wait to play with it I cant wait to see Izzy play with it.. Especially as she is a huge pirate fan just like her Mummy! 😉

On to the next Aisle and I spotted the Wilko Wooden Peg Story kits reduced to 50p each!! So of course I had to grab one of each… Realising I had officially started Christmas shopping!

I had that ‘I’ve started so I’ll continue’ moment and picked up two £1 Shopkin Activity Kit’s as we’ve bought a few. As there’s always at least 2 of the activities inside the girls love to do them together. Not exactly a bargain as all these activity packs cost £1 in most places but still well worth it. (Again I lied, as I had previously told Eva NO SHOPKINS THIS CHRISTMAS!)

I have to admit although I totally lied to myself about not buying toys this year, I am pretty pleased that for a grand total of £8.50 I am up to 6 presents already! Ah I do love Christmas bargains!

I may have talked myself into believing I technically only bought 1 toy as the rest are ‘craft kits’ but I’m hoping we don’t end up buying too many toys. In all honesty though with Wilko amongst other’s reducing things like this and me still being a bit of a child at times, I can see it being a struggle, haha!

Perhaps I’ll just stick to non character toys?.. Or maybe I’ll fail miserably, get carried away myself & end up picking up toys for the next 10 or so years lol! (When do children stop wanting toys?) Keep an eye out for future posts & fails 😉

Have you started Christmas shopping? Have you found any awesome bargains yet? I’d love to hear and see what bargains you’ve found so far!

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

 

Pain Management – Trying Something New

Physical and Mental Health / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

Pain Management

I had pain management today and was quite anxious about going. It didn’t help that I had to go to the Dr’s first where I didn’t get seen until half an hour after my appointment time but the main reason was that I needed to bring up the fact that whilst my First steroid injections for a little while things had gone down hill since.

After explaining I’ve been getting electric shock type pains all over, the burning and tingling I’ve had, how everywhere seems to constantly ache especially when I’m cold, my memory has gotten worse and I’m struggling to keep my balance amongst other things The Dr decided the injections weren’t going to be helpful as I had 3 injections at once not just one so it should have helped for a lot longer and instead, I was offered a trial of Gabapentin.

Gabapentin trial

I had to think about it quickly.. I don’t want to rely on yet more tablets but I’m struggling so much to cope with the pain. Everyone must be as bored as I am with all my complaining. With the cold weather setting in I’m honestly scared to think I could feel the same as last winter. I decided to give it a go.

Pain management - Gabapentin

I’ve not really read much about Gabapentin up until now and I still don’t know a lot about it but it sound’s like it’s worth a go so tonight I’ll be taking my first dose of 300mg and gradually up the dose over the next 6 weeks & hopefully it will help.

Have you tried Gabapentin for Chronic pain? Did you find it helped much? What dosage are you on or are you trialling it yourself? I’d love to hear from others too and find out how they get on!

A Positive Start In Year 2

Family / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

Last year we had quite a few problem’s with Eva’s school and to be honest it made me quite nervous about her going back as last year got so stressful & we strongly considered moving her to a different school but we decided to ride it out and see how things went.

a positive start

I’m pleased to say I don’t think we will be having anywhere near as many issues this year. Her new teacher seems great, she seems to be friendly and rather jolly yet at the same time strict enough to not let Eva get away with too much silliness.
Eva has been changing her reading books regularly so she is happy she’s earning her reading air miles as she loves reading and her confidence is growing with each book which is so lovely to see as  last year seemed to really make her feel like she wasn’t good at anything as none of her achievements were being mark down. She came home several times upset as she had been told to just get on with her work when she needed help so she started just giving up.

Whilst I think she’s doing amazingly learning at her own pace, she feels she has to have these marks & awards like everyone else, so I try to support her in that as much as I can whilst also pointing out she’s always learning and doing well regardless of marks. However now she is earning her air miles & getting stickers and a lot more praise she seems a lot happier and I am pleased for her.

 

We sat with her Math & English homework books on Saturday and she flew through them with confidence whilst still making sure her letters and number were written the right way and neatly, it was amazing to see the change, she finished 5 sheets of work in 10 minutes! 10 MINUTES it takes her 15 to put on her shoes!!! I’m really pleased she’s enjoying it again as I love getting involved in her learning and helping her find a way to work out the answers.

It’s been such a postive start to the school year for Eva and I really hope it continues as she seems a lot happier in herself and is coming home happy again instead of moody or in tears.

How did your kid/s get on for their first week back at school? Have their been any improvements/issues compared to last year?

Staying On Top

Physical and Mental Health / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’ve shared quite a bit on this blog over the last year and I have to say it’s definitely helped, even when I went through a quiet patch the blog was still here being read and liked & commented on and I’ve started to get back into the swing of things again.

Staying on top

I’ve met some lovely bloggers & I’ve noticed myself interacting more and over the last few weeks that has given me a bit of a boost to be honest. Now I’m full of idea’s again and being a lot more organized jotting down notes and dates so I don’t keep forgetting and feeling empty and useless.

On top of all that reading what other’s have gone through or are going through has really been a big motivation for me on bad day’s, if they can carry on & find ways around their challenges I can too!

Sometimes it makes it easier to push through and get things done and sometimes it reminds you to take that much needed break. All in all I think it’s helped me restore some kind of balance and I feel like I’m staying on top of everything again not just the blog.

During my quiet patch I spent a lot of time thinking I was completely useless. My brother especially has helped me see that although I am limited by what I can do, it doesn’t make me lazy, he reminded me of our ‘mother’ growing up and how much more I do for my girls in comparison.

I spend a lot of time pointing out what I can’t do and all the things going wrong but I’m trying to focus on what I can do and what’s going well instead. Instead of feeling awful for taking a break I use that time to blog or chat or crochet so I’m still doing something rather than feeling sorry for myself.

I know there are still going to be days where it is all too much but hopefully with a bit more positivity those days will become fewer.

I’ve started writing notes in notebooks, on post it’s and on our little whiteboard on the fridge to help me remember things & it is definitely helping me be a bit more organized. Perhaps if I finally start using my planner and calander a little better too I’ll spend less time frustrated & forgetting things & getting more done aswell as actually resting when I need to.

Hopefully I can stay on top of things and keep positive for a while! How do you stay on top? What help’s you stay positive?

Latest WIP – A Crochet Blanket For Eva 

Crafts / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’ve been getting a bit stressed again recently and as always I’ve fallen back on Crochet to help me through. It really is amazing how calming crochet can be, especially when you are familiar with the stitches/pattern.

I knitted a fluffy blanket for Izzy last year & Eva wanted a blanket of her own. With limited funds I haven’t managed to find any really nice soft fluffy wool/yarn for her but thanks to my friend adding to my stash I have started on a simple blanket for now so she doesn’t feel left out, especially with winter nearing and our love of sofa days with pillows, blankets, TV, books & hot chocolate!

Eva loves anything reallllllyy colourful (hence loving her colourful crocheted bag!) so I suggested making a blanket up out of lots of different colours/shades, which she was quite excited about.

Crochet blanket for Eva

I’ve been working on this blanket on and off and finally picked it back up again this week, mostly as Izzy keeps telling me I need to… ‘MUMMY! SIT! ROUND AND THROUGH! SIT!’ haha!

With Eva picking colours as we go it has slowly grown over the last week or so & we have decided to make it big enough to fit Eva’s bed for winter too so I will be making a second square & attaching them. I’m really enjoying making this blanket, changing colours and not having to think too much about what I’m doing as I can do this stitch with my eyes closed! (Yes I have tried, it amuses the girls haha!)

Eva wants me to incorporate the cupcake stitch I recently learnt somewhere in the blanket. I’ve been doing 3 rows though. Cupcake stitch is 2. What do you think? Maybe I could use some more of the colourful wool to blend it all together?

Do you crochet? If so, what are you currently working on? Or thinking of starting?

Me You and Magoo

Dear Bear and Beany

 

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

August MS515B Bluetooth Speaker Review

Bargains / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

You may have spotted my post offering a one day only early Christmas deal with a 40% discount on a set of August MS515B Bluetooth Speakers. Sold on Amazon for £29.95.

For sharing August Lab’s early Christmas deal I was given an awesome discount on the bluetooth speaker myself & ordered them first thing Thursday morning when the discount codes went live.

Friday morning we received our email letting us know our parcel was being delivered later that day!

This made me pretty excited as A) I LOVE opening parcels 😂😂 & B) I love listening to music! Especially when cleaning & these can easily be moved around room to room without disturbing the music!

Our parcel arrived around about 4.30pm and we quickly got the box opened up to have a look inside.

August Bluetooth Speaker

I checked the manual and got them plugged in to charge up & was really impressed by how easy they are to set up. They come with a USB lead with a split lead to charge both speakers at the same time. The speakers connect by a lead included in the box. They also have an AV in lead so you can plug them in to devices without bluetooth. So you can literally use them with anything!

I quickly got my phone connected via bluetooth to test them out and was amazed by the sound quality. They are pretty loud too! For small speakers they really do have some power. Anything with bass (when up loud) makes them jump across the side a little which really amused Eva.

We had them set up in the kitchen and the sound filled the room & we all ended up dancing in the kitchen whilst I cleaned & the Mr cooked for the girls. 

The Mr loves music too and has play-lists saved on his youtube. He eventually got bored of typing in each song on my phone. He decided to connect his phone to the speakers instead and took over with his play-lists for a good hour.

We are seriously impressed with the quality of the bluetooth speakers. Especially for only £29.95 (Unless you used my discount code 😉 ) delivered the next day even though we chose the free delivery option!

I can see these becoming one of our new favourite toys. As Eva has seen them I cant give them to her as a present. Instead I have said we can all share them.  I can see the girls using them in our room and me using them around the flat when cleaning to save having the sound system on which we currently have no remote for & have the bass up high which can be a bit much at times! 🙈🙊

I love that the girls can connect using the Tablet as well as us using our phones & pc/laptop and as they are rechargeable we can take them anywhere. I’ve yet to find a problem with them. I like that I can skip forwards and back a track using the button on the back of the main speaker.

*This is a sponsored post & I received a large discount on the speakers in return for sharing the 40% off discount post and an honest review.

RUN!

Family / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

Yesterday was Eva’s first day back at school and of course before we even got to the morning there was a problem. A rather bloody problem!

Eva managed to slide down her plastic steps scraping her foot leaving a long flap of skin hanging off which we had to cut off Sunday night.

We told teachers about her foot the following morning as she wanted to go in, she soldiered on through the day but by the time she got home it obviously needed airing so we will see how she goes over night, she may have to stay home tomorrow to keep it aired.

Apart from Eva’s foot the day started off great! The Mr & I woke well before the alarm and managed a cup of tea before waking the girls. Eva’s written morning routine helped keep her on track and she was actually ready well before she needed to be. Eva struggles to stay focused when getting ready and normally needs constant reminding, this morning I was really impressed with how quickly she got ready, maybe it was the excitement of her first day back at school but hopefully she keeps it up.

The Mr took Eva off to school & Izzy stayed with me as it was raining but as I let her have the TV on she was ecstatic and let me get the kitchen cleaned in peace. By 9.10am my kitchen was done & although my hip was aching I felt like I could do a bit more so started on the girls room. 

Just waiting to borrow a friends hoover

I managed to get it looking tidy after 7 whole weeks! I felt like crying by the end of it but the Mr took Izzy shopping, so I put away the washing and curled up in bed for half an hour to rest. 

Not long after they returned my brother arrived quite stressed and tired after struggling to sleep for days so we got chatting and cheered each other up a bit. I decided to pick Eva up from school as I felt awful that I missed taking her in the morning & do it so rarely now. 

My brother decided to come with me when I mentioned I’d take Izzy. Before we even left he took over Izzy’s trike & wouldn’t let me push it as he knows it really hurts my back & I struggle with the walk. It was lovely to see him thinking about me and enjoying pushing Izzy. They really had a laugh once he got the hand of the handle, weaving along the paths and zooming ahead and we joked with a group of women about Alex needing learner plates as it was his first time.

Run

Once we got to the school I found Eva’s new classroom had been moved again. We had to ask for directions to find her and as soon as she heard my voice and saw my brother she came running out shouting ‘Uncle Alex!’. She was so happy and surprised we were both picking her up.

Unfortunately as I looked up from Eva I suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed by the amount of people surrounding us and began to panic. Alex spotted it straight away and asked what I needed so I told him to just get us out of the gates so he charged through the crowd with trike clearing a path for me to follow.

Once we were out of the gates I was fine and felt a bit silly, especially as its normally me calming my brother down, not the other way round.

We got walking and suddenly I looked up and saw Alex running off full speed to the end of the road giggling his head off with Izzy. When we finally caught up with them they were still laughing & my brother said ‘Sorry about that Izzy told me to run, so I did’. I cracked up. My brother is normally VERY careful with the girls and scared he will do something wrong or hurt them so I was really proud he just went for it & trusted himself enough to do so, his confidence with the girls really is coming on leaps & bounds!

On the way home I began to struggle with the walk and asked them to walk on as I find it awkward slowing everyone down. By the time we got home and checked Eva’s foot the skin had gone white where it had been covered and damp all day so we left it uncovered to air out over night to see how she got on, she ended up staying home today as although it is healing and looks better the skins tightening & scabbing making it harder for Eva to walk and very uncomfortable for her, sofa day it is!

Once we had sorted Eva’s foot and the girls had eaten after Alex ruined a microwave pizza and I nearly burnt the chips trying to calm an upset Eva, Alex sat with them playing with Eva’s doh Vinci set which is of course now ALL over my carpet! 😂😂😂

I really do enjoy watching these 3 play together and love that they now see their Uncle weekly and spend time playing & doing things. It’s hard sometimes not having much family around for them so it’s lovely they have at least one blood relative they are really close to & where I struggled across the day it was nice to have some extra help.

I also really appreciate just how much Alex helped me yesterday especially as I really had over done it with cleaning & then went on to do the school run making things worse & the panic attack on top. Oh and yes I HURT today!

It wouldn’t be a Monday morning or the first day back at school without a few hiccups though aye? As I climbed into bed last night I just suddenly hear Izzy shout ‘RUN!’ in my head and picture them speeding ahead and cracked up.I ended up texting my brother before falling asleep to thank him for his help, his Asperger’s can make it so difficult for him to know what to do in most situations and I was so proud and grateful he had managed to do so well and help so much across the day!

If your little ones gone back to school how did the first day go? Do you ever have panic attacks in the school playground? How do you deal with them?