Making A Grown Up Blogger Decision

I have no idea what I'm doing

I’ve been a bit quiet on the blog over the last week.. And I have some news.. I made a bit of a grown up blogger decision, with a fair bit of pushing from Tracey from One Frazzled Mum and Phil from Public Void Apps .. I’ve gone self hosted & moved over to relentlesslypurple.com!

I’ve still got a LOT to learn about this website stuff but I am remembering little bits & pieces and learning as I go and I seriously can’t thank Phil & Tracey enough for their help

I’m still looking for THE theme and keep tweaking things and changing my mind but I’m so impatient and excited I just couldn’t wait to share it with you all!

So what do you think so far? Do you have any tips or improvements you think I should make? Any theme suggestions? My site is for my reader’s and I am a bit of a noob haha! Providing it has some purple I’m happy 😉

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

 

#WorldMentalHealthDay

#WorldMentalHealthDay

 

Today is of course #WorldMentalHealthDay. I wanted to join in and share a few things with you all to help raise awareness and help those struggling to see that they are not alone, such a huge percentage of the population struggle & feel so, so alone & that really needs to change. We need to reach out to one another & share our stories!

Mental Health is something I heard a lot about as a child as a lot of the adults I grew up knowing had depression, anxiety, bipolar & schizophrenia, so it is something I’ve learnt a fair bit about different issues over the years. I was going to look into statistics and figures but honestly I don’t feel there is any need, so many of us don’t say a word which leads me to believe the statistic’s are unrealistic.

I myself struggle with depression & anxiety and for quite some time I struggled massively with ED’s which I’ve slowly discovered has contributed to my Chronic pain which of course has caused me to feel quite depressed, I also struggle with how my Scoliosis makes my ribs stick out but sharing my stories in my blog has meant I’ve had a lot of support and encouragement from other people and that has made such a difference!

I talk openly on my blog about all these things, NOT for sympathy but to connect with other’s who feel the same, it can be very lonely and stressful when you feel worthless & too scared to ask for a little help and I truly hope that the blogging community sharing their stories helps anyone struggling.

My brother has Aspergers & PTSD amongst other things & yes he can be difficult to be around at times but that ISN’T his fault. He had very little support growing up and felt very alone, being pushed from one foster home or care home to another as a child and being sectioned as a teen and then suddenly being all alone in a tiny bedsit has been very stressful and hard for him.

He spiralled out of control turning to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain, he was EXTREMELY difficult to be around during that time BUT the Mr and I made it our mission to help him turn himself round. And you know what? With a bit of persistence, love and a little bit of a kick up the bum he has become a totally different person over the past year.

Now he is dealing with his issues and facing them in counselling he is coping much better. Knowing he IS part of our family & our home is his home has helped him relax and realise he is loved and cared for. He still has bad days especially because of his past but now instead of trying to numb the pain & destroy himself he picks up the phone and calls me or jumps on a train and distracts himself or talks his problems through and bit by bit he has turned his life round completely.

Talking about our problems can help us more than most things especially if we feel someone is actually listening, we know people may not fully understand but it’s nice to be heard and it makes us feel less alone.

What’s your story? What are you struggling with? What do you do to cope?

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If you need to talk please do, my DM, email etc is always open to ANYONE that needs to talk, day or night! If you prefer there are plenty of charities to help, whether its over the phone, by email or on-line chat, whatever method you prefer there is ALWAYS someone waiting to help you and talk through your problems, PLEASE DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE!

If you do need to talk to someone here is a small list of contacts:

The Samaritans are a well known organisation who are always there for a chat whether your just having a low day or you feel thing’s are much worse, get in touch!

Whatever you’re going through, call us free any time, from any phone on 116 123.

We’re here round the clock, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you need a response immediately, it’s best to call us on the phone. This number is FREE to call. You don’t have to be suicidal to call us.

Another brilliant organisation is Togetheruk.org although I have no personal experience myself they offer a range of services around the country .

Together is a national   charity working alongside people with mental health issues on their journey towards independent and fulfilling lives.

MIND is an amazing organisation that offers counselling & they have helped both my and my brother. My brother still currently has counselling with them and I can honestly say that has played a HUGE part in his recovery. They offer a range of services and support too.

Contact us

Our lines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

0300 123 3393

info@mind.org.uk
Text: 86463

Even if you find ways to cope and manage and feel you have recovered well there may still be days you need a little chat to help you keep on top, please do ask for help if you feel thing’s are slipping again.

If you know someone struggling, make them a cuppa & share some cake & just be there to listen when you know they are feeling low. Sometimes just being there can mean so much, we don’t need to be told what to do or to just cope we just need a little love & understanding to help us through the bad days so we can fully enjoy the good days.

A busy quiet patch

I’ve barely blogged, barely Tweeted and even my Instagram has been much quieter over the last few weeks as thing’s have been quite up & down and I really haven’t felt great at all.

Despite being relieved I passed my ESA assessment  my back hasn’t been amazing, my hip’s feel worse & I discovered I have anaemia which has been causing me to feel constantly drained too which has made it especially difficult to focus & write anything over the last few weeks. I have started taking iron tablets again though which has definitely helped over the past few days

On a good note I received a nice little back pay a few weeks ago as I was entitled to the ESA support rate backdated to the 13th week of my claim, I was aware they do this but didn’t realise how long I had waited so it was a lovely surprise and arrived in time for me to be able to treat the Mr properly on his birthday for pretty much the first time in the 10 years I’ve known him!

I gave him money to spend at the Thurrock Beer festival which he attends every year since its around his birthday and he loves real ales. He came back happily carrying TWO! of these bottles (admittedly one was cider for me :P) & a glass.

 

a busy quiet patch
The Mr happily came back from the beer fest with this!

We also ordered him some new trainers from ebay which turned up with paint and marks all over & didn’t appear genuine, after waiting for our refund & the Mr still struggling to find a pair he liked we decided to order him a pair of Nike ID’s which are custom made how you want!

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The design the Mr ordered

 

He has to wait anywhere up to the 8th august for them but it stops him settling on a pair and not being happy especially as he does so much running around doing school runs & shopping where I cant. We ordered them last thursday and already recieved an email yesterday (6 days after ordering) telling us the finishing touches are being done before they are shipped! So hopefully we wont have to wait too long.

After giving up on our desperate backpack search we gave in and bought him a new backpack too (which I’ll review at a later date) since he does all the shopping and carries it all home from town.

I spoilt the girls a little with some new clothes & shoes..which may have led to a new wardrobe to fit them in.. Admittedly they did genuinely need a wardrobe and the clothes & shoes so it was another issue sorted for us!

I treated my brother to a few lunches & little bits whilst out shopping including some yummy pancakes & a chocolate milkshake at Roadhouse in Basildon! They were so good but so filling that we both took the rest home for later!

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I also treated myself to a new bag, purse and a few clothes aswell as doing things like having my eyebrows threaded over the last few weeks and the Mr dyed my hair purple on Sunday too which has made me feel much more human!

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Izzy approved of the new handbag & tried to steal it!

It’s been lovely being able to do those things as we’ve been struggling to buy things like clothes and pay bills on time so it has been a lot less stressful financially.

The kitchen toilet & bathroom didn’t get finished off properly but the Mr has somehow managed to fit in repainting the toilet purple & glossing the wood as the way it was left made it feel extremely claustrophobic! He’s purpling the bathroom & kitchen next too!

Although I have been really down lately I am thankful there’s been a lot of positive going on for me to focus on too and Izzy has been going almost everywhere with the Mr lately give me a lot of time to rest & focus on myself doing silly things like actually straightening my hair, having a bath in total peace, taking a nap etc which has really helped my mood the last few days.

I have a lot of catching up to do with the blog and saying hi to people again but I’m hoping to slowly catch up over the next few weeks, feel free to say hi and send me your latest posts to help me catch up!

Overcoming a bad patch

I’m pretty sure I am not alone in saying January was mostly awful!
I’ve been trying to overcome a bad patch. The cold weather made it miserable and made my whole body hurt so much I had to keep myself fairly dosed up, something I generally avoid doing as much as possible as I really don’t like taking any kind of medication and dealing with the side effects.

As you may have read my LGG4 died leaving me without a phone and almost camera-less.. I say almost because I do in fact own a real camera, I have a Fujifilm finepix S1500 but I misplaced the rechargeable batteries and hunted through the flat huffing and sulking for a good few days until I eventually found them.

Just as I thought I was winning I managed to take a few shots and went to put them on my laptop only I couldn’t find the USB lead! So of course I spent another few days tearing apart the flat like a madwoman.

The Mr  then suggested asking our tech geek if he had a spare. Turns out we went through all this when I got the camera (second hand) and tech geek had given me a memory card reader to use instead.

Of course this was sat in my kitchen junk draw staring at me for the entire week whilst I searched the draw for the batteries (which were actually in there too!?) and the non-existent USB lead.

Normally it wouldn’t bother me so much but I needed the pictures for our Weekend Box review and the Mr found a local photography group a few weeks back and I was hoping to brave it and try going to hopefully learn to take much better photo’s and to give me a break as well as meeting new people in the area.

I also started on the mission of cleaning my brother’s flat leaving me exhausted and well behind on my own housework. Obviously I don’t mind doing it as it really is needed and I am the only person he trusts to go through his stuff and sort it but I am suffering for it.

Both girl’s have been ill on and off throughout January too which obviously makes it even harder to get thing’s done or catch a moment to myself. Add to that the Issue’s we have been having with Eva’s school it has been a hectic, stressful and lonely month!

Overcoming a bad patch

So all in all January was a bit crap to be honest. I know to most people all these little things seem so silly but for me it just felt like one thing after another was going wrong and this caused my depression and anxiety to spiral out of control a little. Luckily February seems to be going fairly well minus a poorly Eva and issue[s with her school.

Reviewing the Weekend box really perked both Eva and myself up and gave us something to do whilst Izzy slept over the weekend.

I eventually managed to upload my pictures and finish the blog post too. I missed another photography group meet though as I have been overly anxious all week but I’m hoping to pluck up the courage to go on Tuesday.

As it turned out the LGG4 was still under warranty and although the collection was delayed by a day the G4 was collected for repair on Wednesday and should hopefully be back working within a week,
I have everything crossed it is fixable as I really do love that phone!

My brothers flat is so much cleaner and a lot more organised and his asthma has started to ease up slightly where there is less dust & mould. He is doing better in himself and on my last visit we went to ads with an unused gift card I found at his and bought him a decent saucepan, strainer and utensils and enough food to keep him going until my next visit.

Although I’ve been in a lot of pain lately we worked out wearing the Mr’s long johns helps with my leg pain where they stay warmer. Also the Mr has been making sure my wheat bags are warmed every night and he has been using a fan heater to warm the bed up each night to help too. Plus knowing I only have another month to wait until my steroid injections I am hopeful the pain may decrease a little!

To top it all the blog seems to be doing fairly ok even though I’ve struggled with posting and networking lately and I have a few more awesome reviews coming up very soon.

Over the coming month I’ll have more time to chat to other bloggers and read more posts too which I love doing! So if we haven’t spoken before please feel free to come say Hi sometime as I love discovering new blogs and having a chat.

Hopefully this coming Tuesday I will manage to make it to the Photography meet up, I just need to try not to think about it too much in the days leading up to it to keep my anxiety down. Easier said than done but I really need to try and do this for myself, give myself a bit of time out doing something I love & hopefully make some friends around here too!

Eva is booked in at the Dr’s Monday and I’m hoping we can get to the bottom of her headaches and a few other thing’s.

February is definitely looking to be a much better month already! How was your January? Do you have high hopes for February?

10 Things I’m Looking Forward To In 2016

10 Things I'm Looking Forward To In 2016

10 Things I’m Looking Forward To In 2016.. A whole new year to look forward to! I usually don’t have too much to look forward to as we enter each new year however so far 2016 seems to have a few things in store for us which I can not wait for. So here are My 10 things I’m looking forward to this year.

  1. Steroid injections in March I know it’s strange to look forward to a procedure like this but especially as the pain is creeping back again I’m hopeful they will help ease even a tiny bit of the pain to allow me to continue strengthening my core.
  2. The Easter holidays – Although we don’t particularly celebrate Easter as we aren’t religious in any way we do love to scoff a few choccy eggs! (Don’t we all!?) The holiday itself is a nice break for us and a chance to do things as a family. Things are looking slightly better financially so we are hoping to fit in a trip to London during the Easter hol’s to visit the science museum and anywhere else that takes the girl’s fancy. We haven’t had a chance to get out and do much with the girls & I intend on changing that this year!
  3. Eva’s 6th Birthday (10th May) – The last few years the majority of people have let Eva down on her birthday so last year we decided against a party. This year however I’ve decided we are going to do something different & take her & her friend out for the day to the zoo. If we have our own car by then it will probably be Colchester zoo otherwise we can all take the train & visit London zoo instead! ( 😀 I Love it when I have a back up plan!)
  4. The summer holidays (June-Sept) – Who doesn’t love it when the sun is shine and that alone is a perfect excuse to go out & enjoy it. I hurt so much when it’s cold it makes it hard for me to feel motivated enough to take the girls out much but in the summer I always make up for it.
  5. August – It’s part of the summer holidays but I love it for other reasons too! My brother turns 21 on the 5th, Izzy turns 2 on the 6th, and I turn 20… (6 D: ) on the 14th. It’s a big one for my brother this year and I fully intend on making sure he damn well enjoys it!
  6. Spending more time with my brother – In the last 2 weeks we have seen him 4 times, usually we see him maybe once every 2-3 months as he hides away when he is struggling but he seems to be realising now he can come to us no matter what & we will help in any way we can even if he just needs to be around people and chat nonsense 🙂
  7. Figuring out how to make pretty knitted & crocheted items – I’ve been knitting a few years now but never had the confidence to do anything other than a plain knitted blanket or scarf, this year I want to focus on my knitting a bit more & learn to crochet properly. (If you have any tutorials/patterns etc please Get in touch :D)
  8. Growing the blog – Getting back into blogging again has already helped me loads & it makes me really happy to see my followers growing and people actually reading my rambles. It makes me even happier when people like & comment too. I’m really enjoying blogging again & cant wait to see what progress I can make in 2016 & look forward to connecting with other bloggers too.
  9. Working with brands – I love product reviewing and testing all sorts of stuff from technology to food, toys to appliances, there’s very little I wouldn’t mind reviewing if I’m honest & after testing a Cake for Baker Day’s it’s reminded me just how much I loved doing this on my last blog.
  10. Learning to manage my pain – I am now under a pain management consultant who really seemed to listen on my first visit & has explained so much to me that although I still feel a little lost with it all after  we now have a plan in place to help me manage the pain and build my core strength back up. The plan so far is that I will see  my consultant every 8 weeks or so with steroid injections & physiotherapy alongside it and once I am able to manage the pain better I can work harder on building up my strength, in the meantime though I just need to keep active but not push myself so hard and actually rest when I need to.. easier said than done admittedly with 2 young children but I am at least trying to slow down!

So that’s my list (I love lists!) of 10 things I’m looking forward to this year, what are yours?

Seeing in the New Year

seeing in the new year

Happy new year to all my readers, I hope you all had an amazing night seeing in the new year and I cant wait to have a nose through some posts to see what you all got up to! I did write a Christmas – New Year post thinking I wouldn’t find the time to squeeze in a proper new year post but I’ve had a bit more free time today so decided to share with you all how we saw in the new year.

Originally we were meant to have a few people over for drinks to celebrate the new year but the Mr decided against it. Surprisingly not even an hour after the decision was made to just spend New years indoors together I got a phone call from my brother in a bad mood & skint but desperate to come see us and see new years in with us. I guess it was one of those strange things where plans fail for a reason.

Its been almost 10 years since I’ve seen the new year in with my brother as he was in care most years or hospital and I was either in a refuge or unable to get to him or help him get to me so the idea of spending new years eve with him at last made me ridiculously happy.

My brother explained his situation and between the Mr and I we had a plan & thanks to c2c running late trains especially for the new years eve celebrations it all fell into place nicely.

My brother hates asking for help, I’m very aware that I am one of the few people he dares to ask for help from but still feels awkward doing so, the Mr and I try to remind him every time we see him that he is family regardless & if he needs something he only has to shout.

I was seriously proud he finally plucked up the courage to call me, we instantly transferred some money into his account so he could jump on the train & when he got here he told us what had put him in a bad mood and we all talked it over and by the end he was laughing and smiling like crazy drinking rum with us & eventually after a bit of persuading he let us buy a takeaway for us all.

As midnight got closer we put the BBC countdown on opened our curtains to watch the fireworks out the window. The advantage of living 11 floors up and looking out towards London is that we can see fireworks for miles on a clear night. My brother & I were really impressed that the fireworks display in London we were watching on the TV we could see out from the window here in Thurrock!!

We saw the new year in together again at last & it honestly made my night spending it with the two guys I love the most, my Mr & my brother.

After spending Christmas eve with my brother too I think he has now realised we mean everything we say, he is always welcome here, if he needs anything or wants to see us he only has to say and we will arrange something, we may have missed a lot of years out but he is and always will be my baby brother and no matter what I will always be there for him & I think he is gradually seeing that.

Seeing in the New Year this way has left me feeling very positive for 2016 knowing my brother will come to us when he needs to & he is slowly getting used to being part of a family again. Family life itself is going much better recently too now that I have signed off and not stressing myself out constantly trying to find a job when I’m struggling to walk to my corner shop. Now I have a pain management consultant things are looking up slightly with regards to my health, someone is listening at last and willing to try and help me instead of fobbing me off with tablets that give off awful side effects.

The blog, thanks to all you lovely readers has got off to a much better start than I had expected & I’m really looking forward to putting a lot more time & effort into the blog. With my last blog I tried to stick to only one or two topics which of course made it much harder to come up with content, this time I’m just doing what I want when I want & it seems to be going much better although admittedly I do need to plan and organize my time better to get where I want to be this time next year. I’ve been chatting to a few lovely bloggers over the last month or so too which has been lovely where I struggle to socialize in person & I’m hoping I can get the courage up to say hi to a few more bloggers too.

2015 wasn’t an overly great or an overly awful year for us but I’m hoping 2016 will be much better & hopefully we can even squeeze in a family holiday somewhere as our only family holiday was almost 5 years ago whilst Eva was still small.

I’m hoping to learn more about knitting & crocheting this year too as I find it so Calming and helpful with my Anxiety and Depression.

How did you celebrate the new year? What are your hopes/goals for 2016? Have a similar post you would like to share with me? Drop me a comment or Get in touch!