Tag: mental health

Discharged From The Pain Clinic

Physical and Mental Health / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I was discharged from the pain clinic today. After explaining how my pain has eased a little on Gabapentin, I am still struggling to cope with the pain. Which is also causing me to feel horribly anxious constantly.

The Dr prescribed Tramadol instead of Codipar and decided that there’s not much more the Pain Clinic can do for me after he went through the options we had tried. Physiotherapy, Steroid injections, Ten’s machine and the Gabapentin. He decided instead I should have Pain management sessions under the psychology department.

Pain clinic
These sessions are supposed to help teach me about pain, how to pace myself (we all know that’s a huge issue for me!) and cope better all round. These will be group sessions which I am anxious about.. especially as I mostly see elderly people at the pain clinic. They love to point me out and stare.. I hope there’s a few younger people there!

I’m hoping the wait isn’t too long for pain management and CBT. Fingers crossed Tramadol helps improve things as I haven’t been coping well recently. I can’t stop worrying I haven’t done enough or I have too much to do. I constantly feel stressed and struggling to interact even more than normal. Even posting has been an issue, I write then delete. Or I write and it just sits there because I feel my posts are pointless.

I am determined not to let this beat me. Going to sessions around everything else is going to be stressful but hopefully worth it in the long run. I have some awesome people who listen to my grumbling and give me encouragement too.

Have you tried pain management courses? Or CBT? I’d love to know how other’s have got on.

My Medication Review

Physical and Mental Health / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

My medication review was this morning. Knowing I have pain clinic next week I decided I really needed to focus more in my mental health. My anxiety has been through the roof lately and I’ve struggled to brain.. a lot!

I was completely honest about how I’ve been feeling and I was basically given 2 options.

1. Be referred to a psychiatrist so I can be put in stronger medication as I’m already on such a low dose. (Something I’d prefer to avoid if possible)

2. Refer myself to the therapy centre above the surgery.

I decided to go upstairs and refer myself for therapy. I recieved a call later in the afternoon going over how I feel, my symptoms and my mental health history. Once I had finished the questionnaire the lady suggested referring me for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).

I panicked but decided I need to do something because I hate struggling so much. I hate feeling like I can’t do anything right and I’m useless. I hate not being able to go out without panicking. I hate being invited somewhere and feeling like its just out of politeness. I want to enjoy things & believe in myself a little bit more. I know it may not help fully but if it can calm me down even slightly I might not be such an anti-social stresshead!

I spoke to my brother about it this evening and he told me he went through a CBT course and mentioned it made him feel patronised at first but after a few sessions it did help change his way of thinking. I’m hoping it can help me too and I’m also glad for the heads up as I think I might have struggled to continue if the first few sessions don’t seem to help.

I now have to wait for a call when an appointment is free to start the CBT. I’ve no idea how long that will be but I’m hoping it’s not too long.

As I said I have pain clinic on Tuesday too. Whilst the Gabapentin has helped massively I am still struggling. I’m still feeling those electric bolts through my legs, pain in my hips & back. Now it’s getting much colder my ribs hurt too so I need to bring all of this up and see if they can suggest anything that may help.

I’m quite exhausted after today but I’m glad in between all of it I still managed to join the Mr & Izzy at the pub. Our favourite pub is always quiet & we know the regulars. Sometimes I do mire than smile politely and say hi too. Today wasn’t one of those days but it was nice to be acknowledged and left alone to enjoy being outside of these walls.

I now want to hide away for a few days though. It’s been a very hectic, peopley, emotional day with too many phone calls & talking to ‘important people’. I’ve gone over a lot of my past in a 20 minute phone call which has left my head hurting a bit aswell as admitting my crazy is getting too crazy.

I decided to write and publish this before I decide it isn’t worth it as I usually do but now I’m off to curl up and feel sorry for myself because I hurt all over and feel so cold!

Have you tried CBT? Did it help at all? I’m honestly quite nervous about it all and would love some feedback!

I Just Can’t Brain Some Days

Physical and Mental Health / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple
I can't brain today

Do you ever have those ‘I can’t brain today’ days? I do quite regularly and it can be very stressful.

My mind wanders.. I’ve no idea where it wander’s to at times but I just can’t focus and feel useless. I find myself just staring blankly at things. Sometimes the smallest of things causes it, other times I just wake up like it.

I struggle to word, I struggle to write, I struggle to adult, I just can’t brain at all. I’m aware of what’s going on around me but struggle to interact. I’ll be scrolling through twitter but have absolutely no idea what to say or if it’s ‘ok’ to comment on something.

It’s frustrating and I get annoyed with myself but I just have to let it pass and try to ride it out. My chest hurts and I have awful dizzy spells. I struggle to interact with people and probably come across a bit moody at times because of it. Some days I just can’t brain and figure out what to say or do. I stress about having to do anything.

The last month or so has been full of ups and downs for me, as I’m sure it has for many others so I’ve been struggling to brain a little more than normal. Forgetting to go to my medication review and running out of tablets for a day or 2 knocked me a bit but luckily I braved a phone call to my GP surgery. I was quite distressed on the phone to my GP surgery where I had missed an appointment but the receptionist could obviously tell. An emergency prescription was arranged to be collected from the chemist around 11am which the Mr got for me. I was also booked in for my medication review which is tomorrow!

Even though I managed the call and everything turned out ok, my chest still hurt when I put the phone down. I still had to try and breathe slowly to try and keep myself calm and stop everything going fuzzy. I hate feeling like this and not being able to stop it.

I’m jumping at everything, something falling, loud noises, something moving near me unexpectedly. I feel stressed at the slightest of things, a mess, something I’ve forgotten, feeling lazy when I’m in so much pain I neglect the few things I need to get done around the flat. The worst part is knowing it is all so irrational. I get so frustrated with myself for it which just makes things even worse and I just can’t brain some days!

Do you struggle to brain some days too? How to you manage it?

 

I can't brain today

 

 

 

#WorldMentalHealthDay

Awareness Campaigns / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

#WorldMentalHealthDay

 

Today is of course #WorldMentalHealthDay. I wanted to join in and share a few things with you all to help raise awareness and help those struggling to see that they are not alone, such a huge percentage of the population struggle & feel so, so alone & that really needs to change. We need to reach out to one another & share our stories!

Mental Health is something I heard a lot about as a child as a lot of the adults I grew up knowing had depression, anxiety, bipolar & schizophrenia, so it is something I’ve learnt a fair bit about different issues over the years. I was going to look into statistics and figures but honestly I don’t feel there is any need, so many of us don’t say a word which leads me to believe the statistic’s are unrealistic.

I myself struggle with depression & anxiety and for quite some time I struggled massively with ED’s which I’ve slowly discovered has contributed to my Chronic pain which of course has caused me to feel quite depressed, I also struggle with how my Scoliosis makes my ribs stick out but sharing my stories in my blog has meant I’ve had a lot of support and encouragement from other people and that has made such a difference!

I talk openly on my blog about all these things, NOT for sympathy but to connect with other’s who feel the same, it can be very lonely and stressful when you feel worthless & too scared to ask for a little help and I truly hope that the blogging community sharing their stories helps anyone struggling.

My brother has Aspergers & PTSD amongst other things & yes he can be difficult to be around at times but that ISN’T his fault. He had very little support growing up and felt very alone, being pushed from one foster home or care home to another as a child and being sectioned as a teen and then suddenly being all alone in a tiny bedsit has been very stressful and hard for him.

He spiralled out of control turning to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain, he was EXTREMELY difficult to be around during that time BUT the Mr and I made it our mission to help him turn himself round. And you know what? With a bit of persistence, love and a little bit of a kick up the bum he has become a totally different person over the past year.

Now he is dealing with his issues and facing them in counselling he is coping much better. Knowing he IS part of our family & our home is his home has helped him relax and realise he is loved and cared for. He still has bad days especially because of his past but now instead of trying to numb the pain & destroy himself he picks up the phone and calls me or jumps on a train and distracts himself or talks his problems through and bit by bit he has turned his life round completely.

Talking about our problems can help us more than most things especially if we feel someone is actually listening, we know people may not fully understand but it’s nice to be heard and it makes us feel less alone.

What’s your story? What are you struggling with? What do you do to cope?

Image result for you are cared for

If you need to talk please do, my DM, email etc is always open to ANYONE that needs to talk, day or night! If you prefer there are plenty of charities to help, whether its over the phone, by email or on-line chat, whatever method you prefer there is ALWAYS someone waiting to help you and talk through your problems, PLEASE DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE!

If you do need to talk to someone here is a small list of contacts:

The Samaritans are a well known organisation who are always there for a chat whether your just having a low day or you feel thing’s are much worse, get in touch!

Whatever you’re going through, call us free any time, from any phone on 116 123.

We’re here round the clock, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. If you need a response immediately, it’s best to call us on the phone. This number is FREE to call. You don’t have to be suicidal to call us.

Another brilliant organisation is Togetheruk.org although I have no personal experience myself they offer a range of services around the country .

Together is a national   charity working alongside people with mental health issues on their journey towards independent and fulfilling lives.

MIND is an amazing organisation that offers counselling & they have helped both my and my brother. My brother still currently has counselling with them and I can honestly say that has played a HUGE part in his recovery. They offer a range of services and support too.

Contact us

Our lines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

0300 123 3393

info@mind.org.uk
Text: 86463

Even if you find ways to cope and manage and feel you have recovered well there may still be days you need a little chat to help you keep on top, please do ask for help if you feel thing’s are slipping again.

If you know someone struggling, make them a cuppa & share some cake & just be there to listen when you know they are feeling low. Sometimes just being there can mean so much, we don’t need to be told what to do or to just cope we just need a little love & understanding to help us through the bad days so we can fully enjoy the good days.

Staying On Top

Physical and Mental Health / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’ve shared quite a bit on this blog over the last year and I have to say it’s definitely helped, even when I went through a quiet patch the blog was still here being read and liked & commented on and I’ve started to get back into the swing of things again.

Staying on top

I’ve met some lovely bloggers & I’ve noticed myself interacting more and over the last few weeks that has given me a bit of a boost to be honest. Now I’m full of idea’s again and being a lot more organized jotting down notes and dates so I don’t keep forgetting and feeling empty and useless.

On top of all that reading what other’s have gone through or are going through has really been a big motivation for me on bad day’s, if they can carry on & find ways around their challenges I can too!

Sometimes it makes it easier to push through and get things done and sometimes it reminds you to take that much needed break. All in all I think it’s helped me restore some kind of balance and I feel like I’m staying on top of everything again not just the blog.

During my quiet patch I spent a lot of time thinking I was completely useless. My brother especially has helped me see that although I am limited by what I can do, it doesn’t make me lazy, he reminded me of our ‘mother’ growing up and how much more I do for my girls in comparison.

I spend a lot of time pointing out what I can’t do and all the things going wrong but I’m trying to focus on what I can do and what’s going well instead. Instead of feeling awful for taking a break I use that time to blog or chat or crochet so I’m still doing something rather than feeling sorry for myself.

I know there are still going to be days where it is all too much but hopefully with a bit more positivity those days will become fewer.

I’ve started writing notes in notebooks, on post it’s and on our little whiteboard on the fridge to help me remember things & it is definitely helping me be a bit more organized. Perhaps if I finally start using my planner and calander a little better too I’ll spend less time frustrated & forgetting things & getting more done aswell as actually resting when I need to.

Hopefully I can stay on top of things and keep positive for a while! How do you stay on top? What help’s you stay positive?

Adulting

Physical and Mental Health / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

Sometimes I find adulting really hard, the simplest of things become the biggest of challenges especially if it’s something I’m doing for myself. One of those thing’s is booking appointment’s & where it’s difficult to even get through to my Dr’s Surgery  on the phone it makes the whole thing a lot more stressful but I finally managed to get through today (After 22 attempts!) and was booked in for 4.40pm. Normally after around the 10th attempt I give up but I’m so fed up with struggling I just want to gain control of my life again so I kept going until I finally got through.

Adulting

Of course I didn’t get seen until 5pm whilst sat in a deserted waiting room (!?) but when I did I admitted how much I have been struggling with my anxiety and depression the last few months and had missed my prescriptions. Luckily the Dr was really understanding even though i had never met him before. We decided to up my dose of Duloxetine from 90mg to 120mg in the hope it calms my anxiety a bit more aswell as helping with the pain until my pain clinic appointment next month.

After my appointment I realised I had been stressing and panicking for almost 2 months about getting an appointment & losing my prescription and then after a few weeks went by, what the Dr would think of me for A) losing my repeat prescription, B) leaving it so long & C) Struggling so much to do such basic things. I guess it’s silly really as Dr’s aren’t there to judge (although some do and have!). I guess not seeing one Dr regularly makes it difficult too as I never know who I’m going to see!

social-anxiety-disorder-5-728
I found this on google images and it explains how I feel so well!

Hopefully now I have a repeat prescription again things will begin to feel a little easier again and I’m going to try my best not to slip up again!

 

Calming Hobbies For Anxiety

Anxiety / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple
Knittting a blanket

I’m focusing on calmig hobbies after I wrote about anxiety last week and how I’ve really been struggling. It is really affecting me, along with depression mostly because I suffer from chronic pain.

Calming Hobbies For Anxiety

I asked readers for tips to help me feel less anxious constantly. One tip I recieved was to write down every thing I want to get off my chest at night and the other was to find a hobby to keep my mind focused.

I have managed to pick up the yarn I needed to finish my knitting project and half way through knitting a scarf too. I have been making an effort to knit a few rows every few hours.

CBD Oil

While not a hobby, per se, since we’re on the topic of anxiety, I felt like CBD was worth a mention as something that you could take alongside doing these hobbies to give you a little extra help, since CBD Oil can also be extremely helpful for anxiety, among other things. There are so many companies that sell a variety of products containing CBD oil including gummies, creams, and capsules, such as Blessed CBD. Having tried them myself I can safely say they do provide some health benefits, however dosage may need playing around with to find the perfect dose for you and your individual needs

Writing And Knitting

Every night on my notes I write down everything that has been frustrating me. Knitting, along with writing whats on my mind each night, does feel like its helping. As I write, it feels like a weight is being lifted. With knitting, I think about less and less with every stitch focusing only on the next stitch.

I noticed a lot of my writing each night is about how my pain has limited me throughout the day. It makes me feel useless as I tend to end up sat on the sofa, trying to focus on not moaning too much. However, over the last day or so, I’ve been focusing on my knitting whenever I’m on the sofa. Doing this, I at least feel like I am achieving something, watching my projects grow.

Coping Better

My pain levels have escalated throughout the day but im still feeling positive. I havent had an attack in a few days now and I feel a bit more positive in general so I’m going to keep up the writing and knitting and once Ive finished Izzy’s blanket and scarf I plan to attempt learning crochet!

calming hobbies
Almost complete!

Thank you for the tips and keep them coming in if anyone has any others 🙂

Do you craft? Feel free to link up your makes, I love seeing what other people have created!

Struggling with Anxiety

Rambles / 8 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple
Anxiety

Struggling with Anxiety

Struggling with Anxiety is one of those things that come and go as they please making it very difficult to avoid an attack.

Recently due to the fact I suffer from chronic pain and have struggled for 5 years to get a referral for pain management, having had to swap to Esa because of this (which as a result left us with no money for almost a month!) amongst other things, anxiety has been getting the better of me.

I am quite an anxious person in general I worry about anything and everything and find it very hard to switch off but I’ve definately been struggling a lot more recently.

Its making it very difficult for me to go out and do things even when im having a fairly good day because I panic I wont make it there and back, I freak over the fact I look funny when I walk because of the pain, the more pain im in the more I visibly struggle to walk which makes me panic that people will stare at me.

Im trying to put together a video for the Samsung SmartThings campaign but Im struggling to do it, every time I attempt to record what I’m doing and talk about it as I go I begin to panic and hyperventilate, start shaking & sweating and feel extremely nauseous and like the walls are closing in on me. It’s seriously depressing me that such a simple task feels like climbing the worlds tallest mountain to me right now.

Making calls is a huge issue for me again, anyone other than the Mr on the other end of the phone and I struggle to answer or make the call. Having thought I’d got over making and recieving calls it feels like I’ve taken a huge leap backwards again.

I really need to find a way around this but I haven’t a clue what to do.. So Im asking you, My readers if any of you suffer or know someone that suffers anxiety that may have some tips on how to get around it?

I’ve tried breathing exercises but these just seem to make things worse.. what else can I try?

All comments are welcome, if you’d like to contact me privately please visit my Get in touch page to find a suitable way to contact me. All help is very much appreciated!